Hi there! The name's Nenicirene, and I'm a fictional character in the World of Warcraft on the Argent Dawn server. I talk a lot, and since, like most warlocks, I'm an egomaniac, I operate under the delusion that the public at large is interested in my mad babbling. To that extent, I have collected it here in the form of several essays-by-accretion. Enjoy!

New entries are listed below by date, while the complete contents are organized by topic in the sidebar.

What I Like

In an analysis of statistics collected by PlayOn, they said:

players who choose to be warlocks are probably different from players who choose to be priests

I find that sort of comment quite interesting, as my two level 60 characters are a warlock and a priest (with the former being the one I view as my primary character). When selecting a second class to play, I intentionally chose something quite different from my warlock, in order to maximize the novelty in my play experience.

My priest is specifically tuned to be a support mechanism for groups, as opposed to a strong soloer or PvP combatant. Despite this, I find myself playing my warlock exclusively in end-game raids. Part of this is because, while I enjoy playing my priest, a warlock in a raid has a very low-stress job. Success or failure of the group as a whole is not dependent on your split-second reactions, unlike a priest. A contributing factor is the relative class distribution. As uncommon and valuable as priests are, warlocks are even more so, especially in the Alliance. I have been the sole warlock in a 40-person Molten Core raid, which is quite beneficial to me from an item-acquisition perspective, even should my play style preferences not be an issue.

It's true! My first is a priest and my second is a warlock. Although I love my priest, my warlock is my favorite. =D

Neni, I'm with you. Warlocks rule. And mages. Erm, I can't quite decide which is my main and which is my alt. While they're different to play, they have something similar that I prefer against other classes. I've taken a druid and a rogue and a hunter to level 20. The hunter's pretty fun, but a bit, um, mundane. Thought I'd really like the druid, but that hasn't panned out for me. Maybe because it seems to take so long to level. And the rogue just isn't my style. Haven't tried a priest yet...

Everyone wants to be a Warlock!

That is because we are totally awesome. We're like vending machines that shoot Force lightning and come pick you up when you find yourself lying naked in a ditch somewhere trying to remember what happened last night. We're the ideal blend of Sith Lord and best friend. Plus, we can fool death into playing a game of cards with us, while you rez the party. Then, we cheat at cards, so death has to go home sad. And we laugh about it afterwards.

hehe, that made me laugh. poor death :(

It's called a 'lev•əl.

Regarding the levels issue, I am reminded of an Abraham Lincoln quote: "Even if you call a tail a leg, a donkey still only has four legs." The point being, saying something is so doesn't make it so. Any noun substituted for the word "level" is a transparent facade, and we all know you're talking about levels, so just call them levels already. If you want to say experienced or young or other such adjectives, go ahead, but crap like 60 seasons just pisses me off, because it is simultaneously declaring the mechanics to be in-character while deciding that you don't like the mechanics and are going to rename them, which if they are in-character, are already conveniently standardized upon.


Indeed. I eat grumblecakes for breakfast every day, and wash them down with bitter black coffee, before I go practice yelling at the kids on my lawn. It takes hard work to be as cantankerous as I am at this early age of mine.

Advice for Young Warlocks

Warlocks are awesome. We're complicated and have a bazillion highly situational abilities, and you have to know when to use each one. We're also rare, and thoroughly cool.

In terms of leveling, Affliction all the way to Dark Pact followed by Destruction down to Intensity is my preference, and most everyone will agree about the Dark Pact part. The concept of downtime was almost non-existent for me until I started playing a priest. (My saying is that mages and priests die because they're out of mana, while warlocks run out of mana because they died.) I still have that spec (with the last points going into Improved Imp), as I feel it's the optimal combination of solo efficiency, long-haul staying power, and group utility. Maybe not so hot for PvP, but that's not really my concern.

In terms of late-game desirability, yes, everyone wants a warlock along on their raids, because we are wipe protection and a taxi service. The fact that we can blow things up okay, blow up lots of things at once pretty damn well, pass out free health potions on a separate timer, and provide solid crowd control in many late-game instances round us out quite nicely.

In 40-person raids, you'll spam Shadow Bolt and like it. Then again, most other classes are only mashing one button themselves. You'll bitch and moan about the stupid, stupid 8-debuff limit that wrecks your class, and content yourself with the knowledge that it's being "looked at".

Better than being a hunter. Cause you know us, we just shoot stuff dead. Unless you are the Puller. Now that's some fun stuff. The raid is in your hands at that moment cause one bad pull can and will kill the raid.

The only warlock I played got to lv 16 but decided to go orc since I like being the odd ball. I still love the fact that you can curse, immolate and corrupt to death quite a few people. Much like a commercial, “set it and forget it”.

I have to disagree in the talent spec. Demonology, babes. Live longer, Resist Ragnaros. It's not a spec, it's a way of life.

Ask Vorul

Dear Vorul,

I was trying to calibrate my thermoplastic extrapolator to alternate sub-quantum interference, but the in-phase diode keeps pulsing sinusoidally. I tried to interleave the capacitor cores, but this increased plasmic resistance to critical levels, and I had to vent waste heat via a fractal diffuser, which produces undesirable arc flares. Do you have any advice, or should just junk this thing and use the stolen souls of my enemies to bribe a demon into doing the work for me?

— Neni the Annoyed


As a fellow engineer, I must say that your fiddling with quantum mechanics in general worries me.

On the other hand, stolen souls and demonic servants don't sit with me too terribly well, either. Lord knows what kind of crazy ideas a demon would come up with to use such a device for.

Considering these things, I believe the safest course of action would be to recheck your calculations for anything you may have missed. If that doesn't work out, you just might have to live with those arc flares. (Or find a place to vent them fairly safely. I personally suggest Goldshire, as it's already populated by mutant freaks anyway, and no amount of radiation or dangerous arc flares could do them harm that hasn't been done already.)

— Vorul

Is it really a Blood Pact?

The lovable Teehee asks:

Do warlocks have demon blood? Because they do Blood Pacts with their imps all the time.

The way the Blood Pact works is like this: The warlock tells the imp that if he likes still having blood in his veins, he damn well better provide some unholy endurance right now. The imp, wisely, complies.

And if the pact is only a symbolic thing…why do I get so much stronger when I have that unholy thing on my veins? The icon looks like a boiling pool of blood.

That's a common misconception. It's actually tomato soup. Imps are renowned for their ability to cook up tasty, healthy foods. That's where your extra hit points come from.

Now, I need to ask…is it safe to share my blood with a unguilded Imp I don't know? If the Imp has some disease and I share my blood with him, will I get sick too? If I got a disease from an Imp, is it safe to work on my enginnering skills or to tame a pet?

It's perfectly safe to accept Blood Pacts from strange imps, just don't share a hammer with them without boiling it first. Remember, you don't need to go to the doctor to get checked for strange diseases, just glance up and to the right. If you do contract something nasty, ask your friendly neighborhood priest for help.

Telepathy, Resurrection, and Routine

It occurs to me that this Hearthstone-network nonsense is merely another rationalization by people who fail to accept that we are, in truth, demigods. My inquiries show a very high correlation between being able to shrug off death and being able to communicate telepathically. I theorize that in our reawakening, our souls do not fully re-enter the corporeal realm, and that a part of us remains behind in the spirit world, acting as a sort of antenna that allows us to intermingle our thoughts with those of others.

The question then becomes, if we can transcend death and speak across continents, why are we not the rulers of our world? Why are we a caste of heroes and champions, as opposed to masters of our societies? Why do we still follow orders from those who see fit to do little more than stand around? This only lends further credence to my hypothesis that we are actually trapped in some sort of hell, forced to relive the patterns of our lives without being able to examine them critically.

Mojo, Juju, & Other Importan' Tings

Myrdoch be sayin':

That's right! It's all about the ears. Big ole hunks of meat are just hatin' on the fact that the womens love the ears.

Where do you think all that mojo comes from?

Da ears? And here I thought da tusks were da source o' mojo. It be why trolls be sexy and elves be impotent. I mean, really—thousands o' years wi'out any juju? No wonder dey be all cranky…

Is gotta be da ears...ole Myrdoch got some tiny lil' tusks, but more Mojo den most ya can handle. Maybe da ears be for mojo and da tusks have da juju...an long as more mojo be makin' up fer less juju, den is all good.

You men! Always obsessin' over da size o' da tusks. Dere be so much more! Is dey shapely? Nicely colored? Smooth o' rough? At the right angle? Is you gonna be pokin' ma eyes out wi' em? Do you know how to use ya tusks right? No tusks means no mojo, but big tusks don' always mean big mojo.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm odd, because every time a troll 'mojo' (you know what I'm sayin'?) conversation comes up, I get to thinking about the tusks issue. I've never seen trolls kiss -- but I imagine the tusks must get in the way. And I *know* there can't be any...um...mandibular ...action...down, um, there, you know, because dang, those things are pointy and if I see pointy things going anywhere near my, um, down there area, I'm not feeling like it's going to be enjoyable. How does it work? Do girl trolls miss out in this area? If so, how sad. Perhaps being a dwarf gives me an advantage in this area, or at least makes it easier on the knees.

Warlocks and Our Relationship to Demons

Achalon said:

Warlocks have the blood of demons flowing through their veins... [Opening the Dark Portal] is more like opening the door to let a distant cousin come in and visit than letting in the bringer of doom, for us, at least.

Ugh, no. My blood is pure gnome, thank you very much. There's only one way to get demon blood in the family, and no way I'd do that. Demons are tools. It'd be like having sex with a hammer, or maybe a trained dog. Ick!

In any case, I'm not friends with demons—I am their master! They bow before my cosmic might. The only demons I'm letting into this world are my personal slaves. It's nuts like you that give masters of the black arts a bad name.

To which he followed up:

Um, read the warlock description? If you are a Warlock, you DO have the blood of demons within you.

Nope, not a mention of blood on either the main class page or the warlock-specific one. I think you've been smoking too much brimstone. Either that, or perhaps you've been sharing needles with your succubus. I guess that's another way to get demonic blood in your veins, if your ancestors never deemed to do profane acts of obscene blasphemy in the bedroom.

And Freyyr added:

Like, say... having relations with hammers?

*grins impishly*


Let me just put it this way: Engineer magazine didn't have two-page photo spreads on the intended uses of tools. Thankfully, all copies of that filth went up in smoke along with my city. (Hmm, given that they did get destroyed, maybe I should have accepted their offer to pose…I'd be richer, and there'd be no evidence…)

Which led Teehee to conclude:

And this is why Gnomish Enginnering was always more popular then Goblin Enginnering.


It's posts like these that make you THE greatest gnome ever. I will never ever punt you through the up-rights.. never!

(Troll vs. Troll) vs. Elf

I be findin' it curious how Rin'ji, a Witherbark troll, be marked as Darkspear Troll Faction. Den again, I be willing to help him escape, even though I just finished flaying the skulls of twenty of his kinfolk to send them a message. Us trolls do get a little violent wit' da ethnic conflicts, but when elves is involved, den it's time to show some solidarity.

It's like how The Good and The Ugly keep trying to kill each other, but when they meet up with The Bad, they both shoot him.

Waya-aa-ah. Ah-ah-ah. Waya-aa-ah. Ooh-eh-eh-ooh.