Hi there! The name's Nenicirene, and I'm a fictional character in the World of Warcraft on the Argent Dawn server. I talk a lot, and since, like most warlocks, I'm an egomaniac, I operate under the delusion that the public at large is interested in my mad babbling. To that extent, I have collected it here in the form of several essays-by-accretion. Enjoy!

New entries are listed below by date, while the complete contents are organized by topic in the sidebar.

Phylogeny and Hygiene

Recently, I answered the following call:

Greetings, I am Agent Teehee and I am looking for survivors from the "Gnomeregan Incident", their stories and how they escaped the city. This information can be vital to the rescue of others missing gnomes on our beloved city.

Your contribution is vital for the well being of all gnomehood.

You're in luck, or as much luck as can be found when 90% of your species died recently. I happen to be one of the foremost chroniclers of that dark event (as well as a master sorceror, summoner, tinkerer, chef, comedian, philosopher, and award-winning dancer, though perhaps a bit lacking in humility).

But then Rokay had to come along and show her true nature as a troll:

So close to the perfect number... damn you 10% that survived. Filthy little rodents, the whole lot of you.

Gnomes aren't rodents. We're primates. If you'd spend less time stabbing things and more time paying attention to the world around you, you'd know this sort of thing. Really, here I thought there was so much hope for gnome-troll cooperation. I even hired a troll correspondent for my site, and she was so excited when you signed her pants…some idol you turn out to be…

Also, gnomes aren't filthy. We invented bathing, along with many other great things that improve life for all people. (Granted, the night elves invented nude hot-tubbing, but what do you expect?) That's why so many of us wear goggles. What with your average human bathing once a month, the fumes get to us, especially given the heights of our eyes relative to human anatomy. (Dwarves don't actually smell that bad, being made mostly of stone. They smell primarily of old beer and forge-soot, though the colonies of things that take up residence in their beards can occasionally be troublesome.)

What did you say?

The language-mangler is deterministic. It computes a hash on each input word, then uses that hash to select a word from a pre-generated list of words the same length as the input word. I do not, at the moment, recall if the hash is dependent on just the one word or if it is sensitive to the rest of the sentence. That is, "elf" in common comes out as "kek", but "darn elf" might not end in "kek".

Since the number of pre-generated words is fairly small, this transformation is many-to-one and thus not reversible. That is, "elf" and "lol" both come out as "kek".

This word-based mangling means that each language can be given a unique, identifiable characteristic by making the list of words used be phonetically consistent. That is, Gnomish sounds kinda Scandinavian while Orcish is full of guttural sounds. With systems that replace individual letters, this sort of consistency is almost impossible to achieve. Such systems do make it easier to only partly-mangle text, representing partial knowledge of the language in question.

I am the voice of the people.

Crytin, a friendly, harmless lunatic, requested the following.

Attention: Nenicirene!!! *Urgent* Nah. Not really urgent. But it *IS* part of my brilliant scheme.

It's come to my attention that you post virtually every topic that you post in on your website. And, in my attempt to take over the world, I will have you broadcast this.

ALL HOPE IS LOST. THE NEEDS OF MANY ARE OUTWEIGHED BY THE NEEDS OF TEH CRYTIN. SUBMIT. SWEAR YOUR UNDYING FEALTY TO ME, LORD CRYTIN OF THE ROBOTROX CULT.

....That is all. You have your orders, Neni. Do not dissapoint me. >:-(

I don't post *everything*, just the stuff that I feel is important and interesting enough to stand on its own. That amounts to most of it, but that's just reflective of my inflated sense of self-importance.

Anyway, there you go. Always glad to keep the audience happy.

The Lowest Circle

A few months back, there was incident in which Akari was booted from a raid for violating the looting policy, and he responded by intentionally killing the whole group through bringing back a huge pack of monsters to them. Recently, this was mentioned again, and he waved it aside:

yes I was, but that was long ago, that doesnt even matter anymore, only those who carry on their griefs and mishpas care about it.

No, it does matter. I wasn't there, but that sort of behavior is unexcusable by any circumstances. Grouping with people is a commitment to help them. Actively trying to harm your groupmates is betrayal, and, as Dante portrayed in the depths of the Inferno, betrayal is the worst crime possible because it involves abusing trust to harm people. If there is no expectation that one will not be betrayed, then society cannot function. That you even thought about doing this once, much less actually did it, is indicative of a deep and fundamental character flaw. Any brushing aside about "it's just a game" is crap, as games are played with real people that deserve to be treated with respect.

In defense of Akari, Neni, do you know the specifics of every detail and event that lead up to what Akari did in that instance (haha, play on words)? If not, then please don't yell at the man, it's none of your business honestly.

I only have the numerous reports of many people who were there, including an admission of guilt from the perpetrator. And, yes, it is my business. It's everyone's business. This is a community. Having a healthy community requires being aware and policing infractions that would harm that community. If I can't rely on the assumption that I can trust my group members to not kill me intentionally, then I'm not going to stick around.

Furthermore, this is something of a hot-button issue for me. The past does matter and actions have consequences. It is one thing to accidentally cause harm. It is quite another to deliberately undertake a non-instant action that betrays trust. An apology motivated by self-interest does not undo the fact that someone is the sort of person who performs actions that are just plain wrong.

STFU it's a game, go outside and get some air, people make mistakes, get over yourself. You can't say you've never made a mistake. Akari only screwed up one big time, and that was a long time ago, but none of you cool kids can get over that.

"Oops, I knocked a glass of milk onto your nice carpet," is a mistake. "Oops, I didn't like the cookies you gave me, so I got a gallon jug of milk out of your fridge and poured it all over the floor," isn't a mistake; it's a sign you're a jerk, and I don't invite jerks to my home.

Yes, it's a game. That's all the more reason that anti-social behavior should not be tolerated. People play this to have fun, and damaging other people's fun over things that aren't even real is pretty pathetic.

Even after hearing about the incident, I wound up giving him two more chances, with two of my characters, because I must be an idiot and keep giving people the benefit of the doubt despite noticing that no one ever changes. This resulted in seeing him tell our healer that he "ran like he had a cock up his ass" while repeatedly insisting on a non-working strategy and in him running off and not doing what the rest of the group was doing plus just being really annoying in raid chat. There are enough decent, friendly, competent people on this server that we don't need those who aren't.

I strongly agree with you. my biggest "button" is jerks. people who intentionally hurt other people and have ill intentions.

Infernal, I choose y—ARGHH!

I try to always give people PvPing me time to regroup…unless they're level 60 Warlocks and they start to summon something, then they're down—I dunno if that's an Infernal on the way or what. *grins*

Cause after all, you know, killing them now saves them the durability loss from when the Infernal would do it twenty seconds from now. :)

Self-Incinerating Waste

My only problem with peoples epic mounts is that they tend to leave their epic poop all over Ironforge.

Warlock mounts, by virtue (or is that vice) of being on fire, leave only flaming poop, which burns away in a few minutes, dissipating to a mere foul stench and taint of demonic essence.

These pants are not made for washin'

Hello dere! Bein' a member o' da Horde is jus' too cool. You can meet famous celebrities while doin' your everyday business. And they're so accessible too! Check it out:

Rokay signing my pants

I'm a keepin' these pants!

Introducing Zulneni

Any form of internet communication that allows the viewer to edit the content, such as leaving comments, invariably attracts trolls. It has come to my attention that my site is lacking trolls so far, so I have hired an in-house one. Here's her resumé:

Name: Zulneni

Species: Darkspear Troll

Occupation: Shaman

Zulneni's Head

Qualifications:

  • Have bonked many things on da head.
  • Have zapped almost as many things.
  • Can summon da spirits of nature in convenient glowing-stick form.
  • Good at not dying, and makin' you not die either.
  • Able to make my own clothes outta durable animal leather.
  • Can type 50 words per minute.

Education:

  • Learned to commune with da spirits of nature and safely take hallucinogens from Witch Doctor Zamboni, Ph.D.
  • Certified Masta o' Head Conkin', Shadow Hunter Zin'jool's Academy o' Slayin'.

I look forward to having her on board and providing my audience with a unique persective.

Only you can prevent rational viewpoints!

I had this crazy idea the other day: Maybe the only real difference between a Horde player and an Alliance player is that the Horde player thought it would be fun to play an Orc, Troll, Tauren or Undead, and the Alliance player thought it would be fun to play a Human, Night Elf, Dwarf or Gnome. Any other differences are incidental and unrelated to choice of faction.

I'm not sure, though. I'll have to run some tests, you know, draw a few samples and send them along to the lab. Don't let me get in the way of any bickering in the meantime, though. Don't want to spoil anybody's fun.

Nope, Rylle's hypothesis is wrong. While playing either of my two Alliance characters, I'm my normal, witty, erudite self. As soon as I log into my troll shaman, though, I immediately become a mouth-breathing low-life and every other word I mumble at the lower limit of comprehension is "zerg". Even if I just showered, I instantly turn filthy and unfit for human company. My IQ halves itself. I can think of nothing but PvP. I spontaneously develop a criminal record. All major religions excommunicate me. Toads rain from the sky. Hellfire shoots from the earth. The apocalypse is nigh, and all because I played a Horde character for a while. Please, don't let this happen to you!

Yep. Log into my Troll priest, and I can't even speak English (or Spanish or German or Old English), it's some strange pidgin that includes over use of the word "Mon", even when I'm talking to Wo-mon.

Sad, but true. There are gaps we can never bridge.

Warlocks and Elves

Could you please explain how an RP guild can contain both Night Elves—especially Druids—and Warlocks?

Druids, I don't know, as they can be a bit uptight, but enlightened elven priests should get along just fine with warlocks. Just as Elune cycles through Light and Shadow, so must one walk the path of balance between extremes, and being a warlock is ultimately about finding the balance between obtaining power and being destroyed by that power.

"Enlightened" Elven priests should not get along with Warlocks. It has nothing to do with "shadow"; it has to do with demonology and bringing the Burning Legion back to Kalimdor.

No, no, no. Warlockry isn't about bringing back the Burning Legion. It's about bringing back the Burning Legion under our control. Very important difference!

And then there's the fact of an actual, phsyical, racial addiction to magic. According to lore, a Kaldorei who starts to use arcane magic becomes a blood elf in a matter of time. Their actual coloration changes, etc. This is a very serious matter according to lore.

All the more reason to bring in other races that can handle it! You elves are like ex-alcoholics when it comes to magic, so it's wise to let us gnomes do the drinking for you.

*chuckles* this is the first time I have come across a site like this. Goodwork! Very enjoyable writing....*grins* you made me smile ttoday.