In an effort to increase new contributions to my site, I've rounded up some other folk I know here on Azeroth. For the spiritual side of things, you can enjoy the cerebral discourses put forth by a night elf priestess named Arochi, who I've never met in person, but correspond with frequently by mail. (And if cerebral discourses on theology aren't your thing, I hear she strips down to her mageweave and starts dancing on the table after a few drinks.)
Hi there! The name's Nenicirene, and I'm a fictional character in the World of Warcraft on the Argent Dawn server. I talk a lot, and since, like most warlocks, I'm an egomaniac, I operate under the delusion that the public at large is interested in my mad babbling. To that extent, I have collected it here in the form of several essays-by-accretion. Enjoy!
New entries are listed below by date, while the complete contents are organized by topic in the sidebar.
The casting time of a spell only affects how much of a bonus the spell gets from +healing (or +damage). The bonus you get is constant, as long as you're casting anything.
Due to the scaling by the casting time of the spell, +healing gear effectively adds constant healing per second (and similarly for +damage). That is, +X healing is normally +X/3.5 healing per second regardless of what spell you're casting. (We'll ignore Heal Over Time spells here.) When Greater Heal was 4 seconds, it wasn't actually performing at that rate. Also, spells whose casting time has been reduced by a talent receive bonuses from +healing gear at their original casting time, not their new, shorter casting time. This means that for a constant reduction in casting time, you get more effect the shorter the original cast time.
Looking at the actual numbers, if you have +100 healing you get:
Old Untalented GHeal: +100/4 HPS = 25 HPS
Old Talented GHeal: +100/3.5 HPS = 29 HPS
New Untalented GHeal: +100*(3/3.5)/3 HPS = 29 HPS
New Talented GHeal: +100*(3/3.5)/2.5 HPS = 34 HPS
Fellow gnomish philosopher Geeker wisely observed:
The Problem With Night Elves
You know, we have a serious problem on our hands! A disaster! Night Elves!
There are many facts that show us that Night Elves are just wrong. Not just wrong, terribly wrong! Unimaginably wrong! I sputter at the mere thought! (Although being a Gnome is takes more then mere thought to be a sufficient way to think!)
Why Night Elves are Wrong:
1. So many Night Elves.
Night Elves, well, most of the Druids anyway, most of the male Druids, anyway, hibernated, right? For like 10 billion years? Right? And tons of them died in a war like 10 billion gazillion years ago. But, it's been approx 5 years since the Druids have awaken, but apparently Night Elves hold the highest population! But, there's more. If the population has increased so, why does there seem to be so many Night Elf Female on Night Elf Female situations that are encountered out in the wild!? It's paradox!
2. So many Night Elves NOT in Darnassus.
Night Elves are stuck up, and super protective of their own lands, right? Some can't even stand other races, they're inferior, right? So why are there so many Night Elves in Ironforge and Stormwind? Why so many of all places in Elwynn Forest, the spawn of inferior creatures? Paradox!
3. There is not one surviving Night Elf ship.
Every Night Elf ship is at the bottom of the Davy Jone's Bankbox. Even between Auberdine to Darnassus, it's not a Night Elf ship. Whether it's Murloc, plesiosaur, or sea weed, the Night Elf frigate sinks. BUT - Their new home is in the middle of the ocean. That's so insane I'm flabbergasted!
4. Night Elf females.
Night Elf females run like little girls. Night Elf females clap like little girls. Night Elf females sit on their knees like little girls, listening intently all bright eyed and trusting and such. Night Elf girls spin in the air when they die like a little girl taking a two handed mace to the head. Night Elf males walk like penthouse owners. YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES HOW CAN YOU THINK SUCH THINGS YOU DIRTY DIRTY BAD PEOPLE THATS GOT TO BE THE MOST HORRIBLE TERRIBLE THING AND SO TWISTED AND WRONG AND AARRRRRGGG!!!!!!
5. Night Elves are confused.
Night Elves are not werewolves. Night Elves are not vampires. Night Elves are not undead. Night Elves are not demons. They're a people of nature conscious guardians, whom are weaker at day then are at night. The moon is their guide, not the sun. Yet they all tell me to "Step out and feel the sun, virgin."
6. Night Elf and their relations to animals.
There was a hunter, who's pet was a Night Saber. A Druid was nearby, in feline form. The Druid was flirting with the Night Saber. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO BE LOCKED UP YOU SICK SICK BAD TWISTED EVIL SO WRONG SO WRONG I CANT EVEN IMAGINE HOW YOU BEGIN TO THINK ARRRRRGGGG!!!!!!
*Holds breath and counts to ten*
Night Elves are just wrong. If you know any more reason why, please tell me so I can attempt to solve the Night Elf malady, there are still many things to calculate.
And then some blockhead human named Helfdayne had to try and look cute:
The Problem With Gnomes.
(By the way, I'm doing this all in jest.)
1. Throngs of Gnomes..
Have you ever noticed its rare to see a single Gnome? I'm not saying it doesn't happen. But more often than not, they come in masses. There's something oddly disturbing about a pack of three foot tall things rushing towards you.
2. The hand motions..
I mean, come on! How many times have you heard a Gnome say only a single word, and yet their hands continue to wave and gesture for seconds afterwards? How many different gestures really go along with "Greetings."? What's even more odd is when they say a lengthy sentence and punctuate with only one gesture. It leaves you hanging, response stuck in your throat because you were expecting a minute's worth of gestures, at the least.
3. The hair..
On male Gnomes more so than females. Its a sad day when I finally start to think I've found someone with worse hair than the Undead and Trolls. And that little double curly-que in the front.. *shudders*
4. Their obsession with things that explode..
Its just not healthy. I can respect a penchant for inventing things. That's admirable. But explosives should not be played with. Having your party blown up by one of its own is an ignoble way to die.
5. Their plan to free their homeland..
So who was it exactly that thought irradiating Gnomeregan would be a good idea? 'Nuff said.
In conclusion, I believe that all Gnomes should have a keeper, sort of like a big brother/sister. You know, someone to teach them how to correctly comb their hair, wean them off their pack tendencies and make sure they don't blow anything up.
*This has been a public service message brought you, by me.*
Well, I have a retort or two for him!
1. Clearly, this is racism. I find myself alone quite often, but you taller races must just be ignoring lone gnomes. Perhaps your vision is too poor to make us out all the way down at ground level unless we start massing.
2. Gnomes are so smart that we have so much to say that it can't be conveyed fast enough by mere speech. We need hand gestures to carry additional information only of interest to us gnomes (because you're not smart enough to understand it). The Bene Gesserit totally stole their hand signals from us.
3. You're just jealous that your species can't grow green or pink hair.
4. We don't make things that explode. That's goblins you're thinking of. We make things that don't explode. Things that explode are a mere side-product, but one we learn to make the best of.
5. Don't get me started on Gnomeregan. The lunatics behind that are all (un)dead. Let the place stay the tomb it is. Or blast it off the underface of Azeroth. I don't care.
When Rylle brought up the topic of appending an "ess" to races and classes to form the feminine version, my fellow gnomish warlock Shillandy replied:
Umm... Rylle... I know you're a bigot who can't accept anyone elses culture, but in the Matriarchal Gnomish Society, it is the men who are the "esses" and all of the gender references for males are derived from their female counter parts.
example: gnome: woman. magnome: man. And also, the word "gnome" can refer to either a female gnome, or be unspecific, but never a male specifically.
Thanks for reinforcing the stereotypes that have oppresed magnomes for thousands of centuries. Real top notch. No, really, A+. Great. Well freakin' done.
We have defeated the flaming lord of firey fire. Since he's now been deposed, he needs a position, so it looks like he's been reduced to product endorsements:
At long last, I have amassed all the necessary pieces of demon essence from the guardians of the Molten Core, and metamorphosed into a half-demon. My blood flows to the tune of shadow and my will burns unquenchably. My power is at its peak. I am unstoppable master of magic. Tomorrow, I shall slay a god!
(Yeah, so I got my complete Felheart set. Who would have thought that mere pants would be the key to completing infernal transubstantiation—you'd think it'd be the horns or something like that, but I learned the hard way that assuming demon horns while still wearing sexy underpants does not grant world-shattering power.)
There is a place in Gnomeregan
They call the Engine Room.
It's been the ruin of many a poor gnome,
And, oh, I know I'm one.
My mother was a tinker;
She made me new machines.
My father was an engineer,
Down in Gnomeregan.
Now the only thing a tinker needs
Is a blowtorch and a wrench,
And the only time she's satisfied
Is when she's raising stench.
Oh, mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done—
Spend your lives in din and theory
In the halls of the Engine Room.
Well, I got one foot on the platform,
The other foot on the tram.
I'm goin' back to Gnomeregan
To kill that Thermaplugg.
There is a place in Gnomeregan
They call the Engine Room.
It's been the ruin of many a poor gnome,
And, oh, I know I'm one.
It seems to be a trend that people want to move from some sort of support/service character to something supposedly more glorious, like melee.
Melee is for people who can't understand the trick of making their foes explode by pointing at them. Us warlocks are just inherently lazy, you know. That's why we figured out an easier way to kill things, and we get demons to do a lot of our work for us. And DoTs, you know. They're designed so you can fix yourself a sandwich while the monster twitches to death. Soulstones are just to save us a long, boring walk. And free mounts, so we don't have to walk as much. Fortunately, channeling nether essence is slimming, or we'd get kinda fat.
It was actually reviewing that page when the thought hit me, Delaw. The whole concept behind zero sum is that zero sum... but if you snag 40 people out of that listing at random and put 'em in a raid you don't get a zero sum.
Yes, points are re-distributed among the raiders present when an item drops and the bid goes through, but those not there at the time DON'T get those points re-distributed to them, and you do in fact start getting the more regular/frequent raiders accumulating more points in toto.
I still may be missing something, but it's still looking to me like a system predicated on a belief points are being re-distributed evenly, when in fact--when you actually stop to examine it--they're not (in anything outside a 40-man static raid group). I just can't see how zero sum is in any way compatible with a rotation.
The intent is not to distribute points evenly to everyone ever entered into the system, but to distribute them evenly to people based on their participation in successful effort. (The successful part is causing some issues in BWL, but that's another issue.) The reason for using a zero-sum system is to prevent inflation. Since points are redistributed between people as opposed to created by raiding and destroyed by winning loot, the average point total of all individuals in a given raid will average close to the starting amount of 1000 points.
This should ensure that your points are worth the same amount regardless of how frequently you raid. Yes, someone who raids twice as often will earn twice as many points, but will have twice as many opportunities to spend those points. The key is that the net effect point-wise of long-term combinations of earning and spending is zero. Thus, the person who raids twice as often will wind up earning twice as much loot, as it should be.
Systems that are not zero-sum tend to have inflationary or deflationary pressure over time. Specifically, in inflationary systems, the points coming in exceed the points coming out, and thus if you're not raiding at every possible opportunity, the relative spending power of the points you do earn will not keep up with the people who are raiding as much as possible. Under a deflationary system, which is quite rare in practice, different sorts of problems crop up depending on what sorts of rules are in place regarding the ability to purchase items and variation in prices, but the net effect is that newcomers and infrequent raiders tend to win more than their fair share of items. (And since most systems are designed and administered by the most frequent raiders in the group, you can see why such systems are rare.)
Depends, do you have pink pigtails?
Bah! Pink is for lipstick and bubble-gum airheads! Pigtails are the proper combination of cute and pragmatic (keeps your hair out of your eyes mid-fight), but stylish grey is where it's at. It speaks of wisdom and sophistication, plus it goes with just about any outfit.